The truth,the secrets,the lies
by Fitzsimmonsing
Summary: The REAL Red Arrow Journals,collected from the young justice legacy video game. One shot. The Red Arrow Journals and my own personal stories of what happened behind them. Sorry,crap summary. It's a lot better...I think. Will have slight cheshroy near the end,for all the journal entries she was mentioned in.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Except the stories I write. I do not own young justice,young justice characters or the red arrow journals although Id like to.

* * *

Digital Journal #1

Star City

January 1,7:26 PST

Team Year One

Suns rising. Didn't sleep. I'm at Ollie's. He insisted. But I know I can't stay.

Cadmus clone,Sleeper Agent,Puppet,Traitor.

I was so full of myself,so sure Superboy,Miss Martian,or Artemis was the mole. But Savage could never have executed his plan if not for me.

I deceived everything and everyone I believed in-including myself. Whatever happened to those six Leaguers over those sixteen hours-and any trouble that follows because of it-is all my fault.

How can I even begin to make up for such betrayal?

I need to find Speedy.

Story behind it: Roy's POV:

I sit on the edge of Ollie's couch,thoughts of speedy clouding my mind. I sip my coffee in between thoughts. Doubts that Ollie will ever trust me again. I stand,walking to the kitchen,taking another sip from this old mug. I look at the mug carefully. Taking in the detail,it was a present from Ollie for my 18th birthday. Or shall I say my second birthday. I want to smash it,smash everything,smash what the mug represents,smash everything that I've dared to call my own..but I cant. It would be disrespectful to the real roy.

I'd be smashing his things. I have no right to drink from his mug. I pour the coffee down the sinks drain,watching as it swirls away. I wash Roy's cup thoroughly,my lips unworthy to have been on this.

I watch as the coffee swirls down the drain,sorrowful thoughts clouded my mind,thoughts of betraying my friends,betraying the league,and worst of all...myself.

"Roy?" I hear a soft voice. It's Ollie. It snaps me out of my gaze. I turn around. He gives me a sympathetic frown. "You alright?...We're worried about you."

"I'm...distraught to say the least. But it's not me you should be worrying about. Roy's out there-we need to find him." I say,and it sounds like a promise.

"We will find him. Batman,the league,the team,you. We're all searching for him. But don't be so hard on yourself. We are all here for you,original roy or not,we still care." Ollie's voice is soft,and pitiful. Like he's trying not to offend me. He's treating me like a child. Is this suppose to be comforting?

"I can't stay." I say. I turn towards the door,heading for the stairs to collect my things. I know I've over stayed my welcome. It's not me who should be here...roy should be here.

"Roy,please stay-"

"Why? So you can keep an eye on me? Scared in case I betray you,yet again?-and I'm not roy. I'm nothing but a worthless clone." I argue,cutting him off massively. I don't have time for his pity talks. I need to spend as much time as I can searching for the real roy.

I leave the room. Collecting my things quickly. Leaving Ollie's home for good,I can just picture his moustache frowning as I leave.

"You are real." Ollie whispers after hearing the front door slam. He sighs. Before contacting batman. "He's-he's gone."

* * *

Digital Journal #2

Washing D.C.

February 1,23:11 EST

Team Year One

Dinah called. Aquaman's son was born today. They named him Artur. Guess that's good news. Should be happy for them all.

But ever since I found out who I am-or rather who I'm not-it's felt like something's missing. Like someone chopped off a part of me,leaving only phantom pains behind.

I know most of the league thinks speedy's dead,but that missing part of me-maybe the part of me that shares DNA with the real Roy Harper,knows he's still alive somewhere. Still fighting. Still trying to escape.

Where ever you are Roy,I will find you.

Story behind it: Roy's POV:

"That's great Dinah. I'm-pleased for them both." I say. I'm on the phone with Dinah. I'm stopping in a motel in Washington D.C it's cheap,dirty and the phone wire has to be twisted to work properly.

"He's quite the heavy one too,9lbs and 6 ounces exact. A few hours old but he's already headstrong,you can tell. It-it reminds me of you. Headstrong,screaming the place down...we miss you roy." Dinah jokes down the other line of the phone.

"You shouldn't. You should miss the real Roy. I'm nothing. I'm not real,and I'm not worth you're thoughts." I argue. I hear sirens go by. I look through the window watching as a police car races by. "He's out there somewhere." I say,moving away from the window.

"Roy,you are real. Stop with the sympathy party and accept that there's another Roy out there. Roy may need you,but we need you more. Just-please come home. We can help you search. Just know that you aren't alone." Dinah tries to calm me down. Somehow it works. I sit back on the bed.

"Look I'm grateful for your concern,but I think it's best to keep looking on my own. If you guys find anything tell me. Congrats to Aquaman,bye." I say,hanging up. I'm pleased for Aquaman and his family,but I'm finding it hard to be happy myself.

Everyone keeps telling me to live my life,but how can I when this isn't even my life? I've stolen someone's life,I've stolen their friends,family,and c-everything. What if people don't look at me the same? What will happen when Roy's found? Will people still want me around? Would Roy hate me?

I don't care about that now,all I care about is finding the real Roy.

* * *

Digital Journal #3

Washington, D.C.

March 8,18:46 EST

Team Year One

Jim and I did yet another sweep of Project Cadmus today-this time with the latest Waynetech Ecogram unit. We methodically checked all fifty-two-sub-levels and what remains of Genomorph City. Even searched the secret freeze where Superboy found Match,but there doesn't appear to be any other hidden rooms or passageways.

We're back to square one.

In other not-so-stunning news, Jim received confirmation that he's another clone of the real Roy. He told me like it should make me feel better. Like it was now a burden we share. But he didn't replace Roy,didn't take over Roy's entire entire life. He still doesn't get it.

Story behind it: Roy's POV:

I'm sitting on the couch of Jim's apartment. Leaning forward,sharpening my arrows,I gaze bitterly at them as thoughts of the real Roy enter my mind. He's got to be here somewhere.

Jim's finishing a conversation on the phone. He comes to sit down beside me.

"That was Dr. Strange,he's ran the tests and confirmed that I'm a clone of the real Roy,too. Looks like we're in the same boat." He tells me,his tone somewhere in between cheerful,and burdened.

I continue to sharpen my arrows. I don't look up at Jim,but I can tell he's donning a saddened expression.

"We're the same." He adds.

"No,we're not." I bite back. Frustrated that he'd even say that. "At least you didn't replace the real Roy,and steal his life."

"No,I guess I didn't. But-we're still..the same. At least now we know for sure." Jim replies,does he actually think that this is comforting?

"Yeah,at least now we know,let's celebrate. Throw a party,for being cheap copies of the real Roy." I sarcastically respond. Is he actually being serious?

"There's no need to be like that. I'm just saying,you're not the only one effected by this."

"Really? Because it feels like I'm the only one trying." I argue. I stand to leave. I've had enough drama for one day-year. I pick up my arrows and place them in my quiver before leaving.

* * *

Metropolis

November 1,18:46 EST

Team Year One

GPS reports a new hero has joined our 'illustrious fraternity.' Calls himself Blue Beetle and operates out of El Paso of all places. Looks like another would-be Batman with no tech,no powers,and a smile. Poor sap has no idea what he's in for. He'll be lucky if he's not dead in six months.

Meanwhile,its been TEN months and we're no closer to finding Speedy than when we started. Even Bats has uncovered nothing useful. Guardian, Canary, G.A and the Team are shadowing Lex Luthor in shifts to see if he leads us anywhere. But Luthor's too smart for that. I need to take drastic action.

Something's still eating at me though...I know M'gann says she wiped all the residue Cadmus programming from my mind,but how can I be sure? How will I ever know if Savage or Luthor's hold over me is truly broken?

"Broken Arrow" may no longer work,but am I still being programmed,even now?

Are these thoughts even my own?

Story behind it: Roy's POV: (only short because it's hard to write one for this.)

I sit on the edge of my bed. Flicking through the channels on the small TV. You'd have thought TV would be the last thing on my mind. But I need a distraction,other than my thoughts. I turn the TV onto the news,turning up the volume as I see a new hero has joined the league.

"Poor kid. He'll be lucky if he last six months." I say out loud,my mind instantly thinking back to Jason Todd. I shake my head,not the distraction I want,poor suckers.

* * *

Digital Journal #4

Seoul

October 26,01:25 KST

Team Year Two

Infiltrated one of Luthor's robotic plants today. Almost got caught. Wouldn't have happened if Guardian had been there backing me up.

Green Arrow,Black Canary,Aqualad,Robin,Kid Flash...they all gave up on the search months ago. And now Jim has,too. So much for loyalty.

He says I should "get back to my life." What life? It's not like the League or the Team could ever fully trust me again.

You'd think,of all people,he'd understand?

Rescuing Speedy is all that matters. It's all I got left. And with everyone else giving up on the search...I guess I'm all the real Roy has left,too.

Story behind it: Roy's POV:

"Look,Roy. It's pointless us wasting away,searching for someone who's most likely dead. I've met someone,she understands,she's-accepting it. I want to live my life,get back to it." Guardian says. He standing near the door ready to leave,a bag on his shoulder,he's leaving me,just like everyone else. He's going home. He opens the door. I'm not in the mood to argue. He's clearly made up his mind. He's half way out,but stops and turns to me.

"You should get back to your life,too." Is all he says before leaving.

'Get back to my life?' How can I? It's not my life. It's Roy's. And I don't want to steal anymore of it. I can't continue my life,impersonating someone else,impersonating the real Roy. I thought he understood. But then again,I thought I was the real Roy. Wrong twice,huh?

* * *

Athens

December 25,20:02 EET

Team Year Two

Tracking Luthor's operations have led me here. Feel like I'm close to uncovering something big-maybe something that could lead me to the real Roy-but Cheshire keeps getting in my way. Can't fathom why that woman works so hard at thwarting me,except that it seems to give her some kind of perverse pleasure...

But that pleasure may be key. I'm beginning to think she's my best hope for infiltrating the League of Shadows and getting closer to the so-called Light. Next counter-I'm throwing the fight.

Oh,and merry Christmas,Roy. I'm getting closer,I swear.

Story behind it: Roy's POV:

Seconds after arriving at the ruins cheshire was last seen. I'm knocked to the ground,my bow and arrow falling out of my reach.

I'm winded slightly. I open my eyes after the fall,seeing cheshire on top of me.

"You make it far too easy,red." She says,fiddling with one of her sai's. "Unless,you wanted me,to pin you down."

"The only thing I want,is for you to get off of me and tell me where the real Roy is." I demand,I use my elbows to support me,although it doesn't have much of an effect,except bringing us closer.

"I told you last time,red. I don't know where Speedy is." She says,her tone is slightly flustered.

"You really expect me to believe you?"

"No,but then again,you still believe Speedy's alive."

"That's because he is." I bite back. "And you're going to help me find him."

"And why would I do that?" She asks,her voice teasing as always.

"Because,you have no choice." I challenge.

"Such bold words,for a man in your position." She says,looking down at me.

I try to push her off of me,but she's places herself upon my torso and I find it hard to push her off.

"You're enjoying this far too much. Now let me up."

"Like you said,I'm enjoying this far too much." She comes back with. "Then again,you must be enjoying this too."

"Highlight of my day."

"Thought so,otherwise you'd have pushed me off by now."

"You're sitting on my torso. How exactly am I suppose to push you off?" I ask,stating the obvious. Does this mean she'll help me.

"If you'd prefer,I could move lower. I know I'd prefer that." What is this woman's problem? She knows I'm a clone.

"I'd prefer you to move off of me." I restate.

"Not going to happen. So,about me helping you?"

"What?"

"You wanted me to help you find Speedy?" She states.

"Uh,yeah."

"And?"

"I just wanted you to help me find Speedy.." I answer awkwardly.

She squints her eyes at me. "I'll help you,but I want something in return." She promises as she stands up,allowing me to get up off the muddy ground.

* * *

Digital Journal #5

Dhabar

November 26,23:19 UTC

Team Year Three

Clearly,my reputation as a Justice League traitor has its benefits. Cheshire's been able to convince Sensei I've gone rogue and am "freelancing" now. (Not far from the truth.)

Jade,that is Cheshire and I,just returned from shipping a shipment of Lexcorp Tech to Bialya. Got a look at some of it: drilling equipment. Could Speedy be buried underground somewhere? I need to delve a little deeper...

The story behind it:

"Sensei,surely you have heard,how Red Arrow was a key part in infiltrating the Justice League. His efforts,paid off greatly." Cheshire tells Sensie. She stands after kneeling in respect.

"I have. Although,I was under the impression,he infiltrated them due to programming." Sensie replies. His eyebrow quirking.

"Sensei,he has recently went rogue and freelances as a villain, without programming. My father was his handler,I would be aware if he was being programmed yet again. I would also be aware if he was going to double cross us." Cheshire explained. She's very convincing..makes me wonder whether I can actually trust her.

"Very well." Sensei is nodding. He seems to be agreeing with her...does this mean I'm in. "Escort him to your quarters." Oh yeah..I'm in.

* * *

Digital Journal #6

Infinity Island

March 8,00:00 ECT

Team Year Four

Jade isn't the psychopath everyone thinks she is. It's a front she uses to keep people at a distance. There's depth there, when she lets you see behind the mask.

The way she was raised,it's no wonder she's gone down this dark path. On one side,there's her father-my former handler-who pretty much built her to follow in his ruthless footsteps. And the other is her sister,who prays she switch sides.

Like Artemis,I can see good in her. Not sure if Cheshire can see it herself though,and ultimately that's what counts.

At the end of the day,I still can't-shouldn't-trust her.

Story behind it: Roy's POV:

We're in some cheap motel on Infinity Island. We've been searching for leads all night. It's late,and we should be getting some rest,but I find I can't. I'm sitting on the bottom of Jade's bed. She's sitting beside me. Her face is...sad slightly,and worried...which is different compared to her usual sultry,stone and emotionless self.

We've been talking for a while,now. She's telling me about her past. What made her choose to follow in her fathers footsteps..but I guess,she never had a choice. She's telling me about what Sportsmaster-my former handler and Jade's so called father-and what he did to her and Artemis when they were young.

Makes me feel even more guilty about the way I treat Artemis. Jade's finishing the story now,but I can't help but agree with her sister when she says Jade can be good.

"..but Artemis is still convinced I can be good,but she's wrong." Jade adds,her tone sombre.

"I-" I cut myself off,I know this is going to sound stupid-especially out loud.

"You?" She asks. And I feel,almost obliged to tell her.

"I..I thinks she's right. I think..you have the potential..to be good." I say it slowly and carefully. She looks up at me,her eyes seem,hopeful? It's only then I realise how close she is.

"Then you're wrong." Her voice is quiet. She's moving closer towards me as she says it. Our faces are practically touching. Her lips advance onto mine. And she's kissing me so softly. I kiss back slowly to match her pace,my mind is telling me I shouldn't be doing this. But I ignore it.

I kiss her for a little longer,before pulling away. I stand,moving closer to my bed. I can't do this,as much as I want to,I can't. My mind has won the better of me. I need to focus on Speedy. Not kissing Jade,in a cheap motel room. Maybe,when this is all over,and Speedy is found,we could-possibly start a relationship.

I explain to her why we shouldn't-can't. Surprisingly,she understands,although I can tell by the way she's acting,she wanted more.

Maybe,one day we could..go further,or maybe,she'll find someone else.

* * *

Forte-De-France

May 26,03:16 ECT

Team Year Four

Cover blown. Cheshire saved my life. And she had to betray the League of Shadows to do it. We barely escaped.

Or is Jade playing me? Heaven help me,I'm not sure I care.

We're on our own. (At least now I can refocus my efforts on Speedy.)

Story behind it: Roy's POV:

"This way,quick." Jade calls. She's running in front of me.

Sensei,and some other goons,in cooperation with the League of Shadows,are chasing us. I turn left,where cheshire told us to go. It's a dead end,I start to think that she's betraying me,until she tells me to give her a boost up to the air vent.

We crawl through the air vent,hearing voices echo behind us. I can't see where exactly we're going,because Cheshire is blocking the view,I guess I'll just have to trust her.

We exit the building. Finding ourselves a small boat to escape in. We just made it out in time,a small explosion just went off. We've lost some of our weapons back there,but it's better than loosing our lives.

"That was close." Jade comments,as she attempts to start to the boat. I give her a hand.

"Too close." I comment. A few moments go by before I break the silence. "Thanks...for helping me." And I'm being sincere when I say it. She just betrayed the League of Shadows,for ME.

"Maybe,now you'll take me serious,when I say,we're ready for a relationship." She replies. The boat begins to move.

"Jade,I need to focus on Speedy. I can't..focus on him whilst..dating you,I would end up pushing you away. And I-" I'm cut off by her lips,this isn't the first time this has happened,in the past few months.

I kiss her back. And this time I don't pull away abruptly,I kiss her for a little longer,and in all honesty,I don't care if it's wrong.

* * *

Digital Journal #7

Gotham City

September 16,21:45 EST

Team Year Four

Luthor met with Nigma again tonight. This time at Gotham's Museum of Antiquities-in the Babylonian Wing.

If I didn't know better,I'd almost think they are planning a heist. But it's bigger than that. Lexcorp's robot production has increased exponentially since I started tracking his operation three years ago.

Something's going down,though I'm not sure when. Can't see the connection to Speedy yet,but it must be there.

Story behind it: Luthor's POV:

I'm standing in the Babylonian wing of Gotham's Museum of Antiquities. Nigma has just left. I've decided to stay a while longer,to 'look around'. I can feel the pragmatic hero staring at me. He must think I'm stupid,I've realised that he's been tracking me. Three years almost. He's got a new friend now. She seems more than interested in helping him,funny,last I seen the pair they were against each other. But I guess a lot has changed since then.

He's smart,but he's not smart enough to know how this links to Speedy. Then again,why would robotic products have anything to do with Speedy..unless he has a missing limb or something.

* * *

Digital Journal #8

Geneva

November 30,22:22 CET

Team Year Four

Singapore,Santa Prisca,Germany, Switzerland,etc. etc. etc. Jade and I have hit every single Lexcorp subsidiary and still no answer.

Where are you,Roy?

* * *

-page 2-

* * *

Geneva

November 30,22:30 CET

Team Year Four

Whoa,some alien attacked Superman in Metropolis. Destroyed four city blocks before heading back to space. I saw the footage.

Press didn't pick up on it,but it looks like Superboy lent a hand in taking the E.T. down. Guess a clone can be good for something.

Of course,you wouldn't know by looking at me.

Story behind it: Roy's POV:

I'm in Geneva,sitting on the edge of a motel bed. Jade's in the shower,she's just came back. She had left before. Only for a few days,she's left me for longer though. I may be independent,but I guess it's nicer having someone around. We'd argued,yet again,when she came back. In fact,we were arguing about the news and my insecurities. She told me that I am real,that it doesn't matter if I'm a clone,etc. I've heard it all before,yet it's somehow more reassuring when she says it. Guess,I should keep my thoughts of insecurity to myself,now.

* * *

Digital Journal #9

Washington D.C.

January 28,20:00 CET

Team Year Five

Another fight with Jade today. She thinks the trails dead. Probably thinks Roy's dead,too. Thinks I'm obsessing.

Thought she understood by now. Isn't that why we tied the knot?

Kidding myself.

Story behind it:

"Jade,please. We need to keep looking. I know he's out there somewhere. I-"

"Roy,I'm not saying give up on the search. Just,please,put it on hold,just for now." Jade argues. How can she say that? She knows how much finding Speedy means to me.

"Jade,we can't. We've wasted enough time as it is. Time which we don't have."

"Roy,I love you. But I can't watch you destroy yourself,anymore. The trail is dead. It's pointless. Let's just wait a while,a few months,maybe. Please." She keeps insisting we drop the search,just for "a few months". Why?

"Why? What could possibly happen in those few months? A lead on Speedy just falls into our laps?" I ask. Clearly my sarcasm is lacking to say the least.

"Trust me,a lot could happen in those few months. Open your eyes Roy. Maybe,if you weren't so obsessed with Speedy you'd have figured it out by now." That's the last thing Jade says before storming out. She'll be back. She never leaves without her things.

A month later: Jade's POV:

I'm hiding on the fire escape. Roy's just entered the apartment. He hasn't seen me,but it sounds like he wants to.

"Jade,good news I-" he cuts himself off. Looking around the apartment for me. He's noticed the letter on the counter. I can see him staring at it.

He sighs before opening it.

Dear Roy,

I've tried to make this work,but your obsession for finding Speedy has began to deteriorate our relationship. I'm leaving,but I won't be coming back this time,at least not for a while. I love you. But I can't stay. For 'certain reasons' you'll soon find out. Try not to let yourself go too much. If you find Speedy,I'll be waiting.

Love Your Wife, Jade x

I watch as he reads it. His expression turning to anger. He scrunches his fists,putting them on the counter,he looks as though he wants to lash out.

"She-I-she's so.." He stops himself. I notice his expression change to a frown. And the mood suddenly turns sombre. "I-I love her." He says in a quiet voice. It's good to know he feels the same way. I stand up,climbing down the fire escape. I loose my footing slightly,and i fall,only to regain my balance. I make a quiet thud as i land perfectly on my feet. I flee the scene,but when I turn back,I see Roy's face hopeful,as he looks out the window. Thankfully,he can't see me,as I disappear into the shadows.

* * *

Digital Journal #10

Moscow

February 15,20:00 MSK

Team Year Five

Finally closer to Luthor and the Riddler. Finally closer to Luthor and the Riddler. They're after some sort of statue. Nothing about DNA, clones, or Roy.

They were right. Every one of them. All this time and energy, wasted.

I'm out of leads, out of money, out of friends, and Jade is gone. For good this time.

But I won't stop looking. The quest is all I have left.

Stories behind it:

Wally's POV:

It's Valentine's Day,and as much as I would love to be with my loving girlfriend,I find myself on a Rooftop confronting Sp-Red Arrow. He's a mess. His hair is long,his muscles..are pretty much gone,I use to be jealous of his arms. And unless he wants to look like Green Arrow,he needs a clean shave...and a shower by the smells of things.

Well,I guess some things haven't changed. Criticising me,at least I stuck around for my friends,but same old Roy,I guess.

He looks like a hobo. Yet acts like a maniac. And from what Artemis has told me,he's been spotted helping out members of the shadows,more than a few times.

He's more than a mess,and he needs help,but he's too stubborn to accept it. We've tried,but I guess...he's a lost cause,now.

Jade's POV:

I've been lurking in the shadows of his home for a while now. I'm starting to feel like a stalker,hiding,waiting for him to return. But it's long enough for me to take a look around his home. This place is a dump. When we lived here,very frequently,I remember it being spotless. Clean and hygienic. Now,it's the opposite. Not exactly the place I'd like to bring up our child.

He's here...Good grief,red,what have you done to yourself. The bags under your eyes,stubble along your jaw,not to mention the state your hairs in.

I announce my presence. He's quite shocked..even more shocked to find out he's a father. Guess he had no idea clones could reproduce.

He seems pleased,not just by the fact he's a father,but because we have a lead. Hopefully,this is the lead that will take us to Speedy.

I've ordered him to take a shower and shave before getting any closer to lian. I don't want her to remember her father like that. He complies with my demands,and after I shave his hair,back to its previous style.

"We have a long way to go,red. So no slacking,I want you back in shape,because I think the worlds missed those arms." I joke,handing him the bottle for lian.

He's cradling her in his arms. He's quite the father. Well,better a better father than mine. He looks up at me. "Okay,I don't want to get my hopes up anymore,who did you steal her from?" He asks,and I hope it's a joke.

"I think stealing her would be far less painful,than the 16 hours of labour I went through." I answer,placing my hands on y hips.

"16 hours? That is...a long time. I'm...sorry?"

"Don't be,it was all worth it in the end. Although,if you would like to make up for all that pain you caused,and I'm not just talking about the labour,then you would let me beat you up for 16 hours. Just to make up for the pain." I say,my voice teasing.

"Just to make up for the pain? So,you'd get no satisfaction from it?" He asks,sounding playful.

"No,satisfaction,at all."

* * *

An: thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this. Please tell me what you thought. P.S in case it wasn't obvious the journals are actually Red Arrows journals from the Young Justice video game.


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